ravens would prevail. >> charles? >> ravens by three. >> bret: say again. >> ravens by three. >> john: in order to make such a prediction. one needs keen intellect. comp prehex. comprehensive knowledge of the sport and wide ranging how the football will culminate in football's greatest moments. talents are rare as charles demonstrated on friday as we found in this piece of videotape. [cheers] >> go, go, go. come on, that a girl. go, go, go. go get them. >> come on, get them. ever. >> the ravens have won the super bowl. very good. thank you, thank you.
>> jack russell terriers are very intelligent dogs. >> that's exactly how i did it. and i did a regression analysis, i consulted a dog and i was up all night and i came out with that. i have to tell you this has racked my new year's resolution. >> which was? >> be humble. i have to wait until next year now. >> john: that's it for tonight. house majority leader eric cantor note what many republicans have been >> i'm greg gutfeld. or as i am known in vermont, the snow sniffer. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show. >> thanks, greg. our top story tonight, the white house posted a photo allegedly showing president obama supposedly firing what appeared to be a shotgun.
our allstar panel will take a closer look. and something about some football games. and finally does going into prison turn you into a criminal? the shocking answer you might have figured out when i did this tease last week. >> i have nothing else to say to you. >> then go away. >> i shall. >> let's welcome our guests. >> what can i say? i like to role play, people. the political commentator and her latest is called mugged. and if jokes were headlights he would have us all itching to get lid of him. it is joe derosa. glum and em loomy. glum and gloomy. and in canada he is considered a vacuum.
and he knows bonds like i know wands. it is the wall street strategy ceo. >> a block. the lead. that's the first story. >> will a pigeon that is clay believe the nra? they have at some point touched an actual firearm. they were meant to quel cries after they told a new republic, a magazine that they not only had a magazine, but they shoot skeet. it is a nickname for fox news employees. >> noted their chief lobbyist, quote, he clearly doesn't get it.
skeet shooting whether you have done it or not doesn't make you a defender in the second amendment. >> and the good news is they got married in a civil ceremony in vermont. i told you that would happen after gay marriage. men in horses in vermont opening where they served hay and poop where they would like. >> that's true. i am marying this table later. >> and did this convince you they were pro gun? >> it just reminded me when you put it up there. i think too much is being made of the photo and not of the lives being told. yet and still i have noticed that when i turn away from
watching political news how these liberal dorks want to inform us they grew up with guns. i wanted to say you did not you little dweeb whose father is a trial lawyer. >> it is like those against gay marriage say i have a lot of gay friends or i have a lot of guns around my house. if we confirm that obama has lied should he be impeached? >> i think we can prove he lied. although it doesn't look photo shopped. >> i would have been maury luck tent. i would have held out longer on this than the birth certificate. that is the craziest photo of anyone shooting a shotgun i have ever seen. >> i am telling you if he did not show this to michelle or the kids because they wouldn't have let that go out. somebody in his office said
people are doubting you. you know what it was? he was punching down to twitter trolls. just ignore this. my wife tells me that. look what i am going to say to this guy. you are a world famous talk show host. you don't want to tweet to a guy who has five followers. barak, you are the president united states. you don't have to released a photo, especially that photo. if the jeans get any higher you would have to shoot through the zipper. it has been a longtime. maybe it just seems that way because i miss you. i the worst thing about it is when the white house says don't photo shop it. they released the photo and then said don't photo shop. it it is like telling neighborhood bullies no the to tee pea your house. >> don't do this thing we know
you are doo iing to do. you are dying to do. >> it convinces me he is a pro gun guy. you can steel be -- you can still be in love with a 500 pound fat chick. >> that is a feminist argument. no wonder you have women crawling all over you. women are now swooning over joe derosa. >> we will get tweets from hefties. >> let me point out what a typical moment that is where i have you and you are laughing and then i take it just farther than you want it to go. >> are you always grabbing my leg. >> people at home can't see that. >> we have large women who are watching joe derosa.
>> bill, critics on both sides of this issue have ended up agreeing on one thing. >> no question really. >> no inflection there. >> a question mark is not needed for that threat. it is on that same range. skeet shooting, this is the 21st century and we only have a photo? i want to see video or your walking papers. i will say i never knew what strategists meant. now i know what it is. they are to bully a president until finally he releases the embarrassing picture. >> the over arching point to this in my mind is the right is doing what the lest has mastered for years which is finding things -- it used to be about some version of huh
poke craw see and being conservative. you have to do some other things. >> right. that's why -- i mean it is a silly photo and unless you have something holding the clays for him they are not shooting straight. one of the largest points is the second amendment was not because the framers really liked skeet shooting. that's not what it is about. while they put out the photo they were telling lies about everyone loves universal background checks. that means universal tabun registration. all of these laws about guns using people to kill more in the home and in australia and crimes going down which was a lie. we are focusing on a silly photo. >> exactly. >> what is so ridiculous about the photo. isn't it supposed to be shirtless with a knife in his mouth?
>> he is not wearing a shoulder pad. that means you are shooting one time. he doesn't have a place to put the -- >> maybe he is such a man he doesn't need the shoulder pads. he just shoots so much. >> you are shooting up. you are not shooting straight unless they 1r* bill schulz or a fox news employee holding the clay. it is a silly photo. >> i have done some skeet shooting and they come from all over the place. they come from the side and they go back and come to you. i have one that came out of my person once. >> i was wondering what he was up to. >> skeet was a poor man's johnny depp. and then he was a poor man. >> and then a target. >> do do you have a last word on this? >> i just think it is the most ridiculous thing i have seen a
president do. the average man from the time we went bowling. they say we don't do that kind of stuff. let's get back to what the real discussion is. this was fun and we were side tracked for a little while, and whether or not he is the world's greatest skeet shooter. >> this is like eating the junk food, but we are not eating the meal. that's what you call a metaphor. >> the american sniper got killed by a mentally ill person. you had the mentally ill person in alabama. can we deal with the mentally ill? that would do something. >> you are right. from pigeons to pigskins. the game was slack until it went black. it was grim until it went dim. that's about it for me. according to the nfl we can thank an ab nor mall tee in the system for the third quarter power failure, seen
here, and not the half time show as previously thought. though some still think dan moreno pulled the plug to slip tbee -- slip beyonce his number. the game marked the end of ray lewis' career, one unblemished unless you count a double murder. but the baltimore line backer is not worried about that because god has it covered. >> what would you like to say to the families? >> it is simple of the -- it is simple. god has never made a mistake. to the family if you knew -- if you really knew the way god works, he don't use people who commits anything like that. it is the total opposite. >> just to recap god wanted him or one of those guys to be killed and wanted him to be
successful. the biggest story from the super bowl -- >> that's not what he was saying. jay colin kaepernick, the 115- pound pet tortoise. he has had him since he was a kid. this is the greatest sports story ever, shut up. he has a propensity to devoure the shrubbery and crash into fences and bump into people. he could also live another 135 years. sounds like larry king. how is sammy handling the loss? see here. >> that is not full size yet? yikes. keep that away from the kids. >> the one thing is he has no idea his owner is a super bowl quarterback. he does president care.
he just views him -- >> that is called unconditional love. >> i think it is just unspecified and different. >> a controlled apathy for over a century. >> you are 135 years old. so you live almost double what a human lives. do they have generational conflicts the way we did? so. >> that's just silly, greg. >> you don't think turtles think about stuff? >> i don't think so. i don't know. what would they think about? they don't buy lettuce. there is no turtle supermarket. >> this is true. >> there should be. >> i think it is an unusual pet to have, and i have -- was he dating anyone? >> the turtle? >> no, colin. >> that would be worse than the cat guy. one large turtle is a deal maker.
and pets are supposed to teachers and responsibility because they have a sell by date. after year 15 to 30 there is no maury responsibility and that's when you get apathetic and plotting ways for that thing to die. oh he fell off the roof again. >> we did a turtle story where they forgot they had a turtle and it lived in the attic for 30 years. >> how? >> eating termites. >> really? >> yes, like you. >> i guess we should talk about the game. i am more interested in the fact that a pet should know how important you are. that turtle would know if he was owned by kaepernick or a homeless person. >> it is this fleshy thing that bench presses in his garage a lot. that's all he knows and there is fruit here. next day, same thing. >> anne, i was talking about
ray lewis and you jumped to his defense. sharp was asking about the two men killed and the two men ray lewis ended up paying off their families. >> allegedly. >> i know allegedly, allegedly, allegedly. doesn't it piss you off as a force field against accusations 1234*. >> i love ray lewis and i was rooting for the ravens because he was a huge christian. he was making a small theological error. he was a murderer. it was christ's greatest missionary. i don't think he is guilty of this.
he was for given. christ died for his since. >> this is a problem with christianity. >> i can kill joe right now and then i could go to -- i am a catholic. >> maybe that would work. >> can i please? ray lewis disgusts me. he absolutely disgusts me. i love his theory, god doesn't make mistakes. oh so god told you to plead guilty and then roll over? and i love the concept too that evil people can't be -- >> oh that's why it didn't work for mitt romney. >> if you are broke god doesn't like you. >> he is using this -- it is a smoke screen -- religious people, no offense because i know are you religious and i
am not. in fact, that's the only place i did agree with ray lewis where he can't make mistakes because he is not real. send letters to me. >> by the way, joe, your dad is a deacon. >> yes. >> he must be pleased to hear this. >> his name is deacon jones. >> my dad is mr. jones from the counting crows. >> everybody's religious path is his own. i am not saying a higher spirituality is not possible. but it is pretty silly for a potentially guilty murderer to sit there on television and say the reason he is not guilty is because there is a man in the sky making it so. it seems a little silly to me. in 2013. >> no, but what he is saying -- first of all the law says he is not guilty. what he pled guilty to was obstruction of justice and he testified against the other two guys. there were three possible assailants that night. the other two by the way didn't go to trial, and they
were acquitted. we don't know who did it. i don't think he did do it. he is a very famous football player. is he going to be knifing a guy in a club? >> a football player would never kill anybody. wait a minute, oj, sorry. >> i want to get charles into this because we are running out of time. charles, what do you make of this? >> my biggest beef -- by the way, i like him. he didn't make any tackles. he was so late to every play he could have made extra dough filming it from the ground. it was like, when are you going to make a play? >> he could have retired a longtime ago. >> i'm assuming you could have watched it from a window in your alley. >> i do have a fellow hobo
radio. >> the problem with that whole interview is for a longtime they will not comment. but they have an interview with shannon sharp who played with him on the ravens and was his one buddy during the entire time. they kept coming to ray lewis' defense. shannon sharp, give me a break. god does make mistakes because shannon sharp has a career in broadcasting. >> also too, doesn't -- wouldn't an innocent man, and this is a defender of ray lewis, but wouldn't an innocent man say i am not guilty and here is why. here are the facts. here is an alibi. he offered no information as to why he shouldn't be involved. >> we have 45 seconds hard left. that's tv talk for taking a break. should liberals be used as chum for sharks? first will only din joked
have their skills risen once they leave prison? serving time makes criminals better at time as they learn from seasoned vets. a professor at ohio university grow ingrown toe nails. it leads to $11,000 more. as for why, basically you spend a lot of time with other criminals. seasoned veterans who can teachers and the lay of the land. ways to get away with crime. it is like a convention with networking and sodomy. let's see how one former criminal is dealing with life on the outside.
>> that's why i don't like cats. >> i don't think that cat knows how his owner is. joe derosa. >> i am allergic. >> i am not surprised. >> it is st basically a harbor for criminals? >> no. >> everyone comes out and they think they are smarter. my boy comes in and he comes out and starts all over again. he is back in. everyone thinks -- up said what are you going to do? i said i am opening a fish store. i will do everything right. but they never get smarter. they never get smarter. i don't know who this professor was, but he sounds like the kind of guy who would
be ripped off in a white scholar scam. white collar scam. you don't get smarter, but you think you get smarter. >> you served time for a triple murder. did you get your life on track? obviously not because you are a comedian. were you shacked to hear about the networking? >> no, greg. it is funny you put criminals in a place they have nothing to do and they are coming up with new ideas. i think prison is a flawed system. they turn to desperate measures because they don't have a lot of hope. they go to a place where they are demeaned and it doesn't work. i will tell you what would work and it is this. if randolph and mortimer took every guy and made them trade places with dan akroyd, that's what would work. what would happen with dan akroyd? >> he just eats the fish through the santa clause beard. >> i was going to ask you a question, but i prefer to rip
apart joe's answer which was horrible. we are all products of our environment. that means everyone would end up in jail. you said if we all had similar environments -- >> don't you think most criminals come from the same environment? jay i think they are bad people. you wouldn't say most criminals come from the inner city? >> most come from single mothers. >> really? >> ♪ all the single mothers ♪ all the single mothers >> i think you will agree on my other point is which is why this leads to my conclusion once you have committed a violent crime. i think death penalty. i will give chuck coleson one year of prison ministries. if they can turn them into a person, then death. >> wow. >> there is a lot of -- >> scientology maybe.
>> that's a fantastic idea. >> children of god. >> who doesn't love a good ekinkar. >> they are known for obeying things. that would be very good. it makes perfect sense. it is a salon for rapists and murderers. it is like dorothy parker's round table. but instead of changing literary gossip it is a recipe for a chiv. you can't do isolated confinement because then they go nuts. they need to be around people, but it doesn't matter what they are saying. >> have i a solution to this. legalize drugs. you prevent like criminals from turning to violent ones. they said criminals come out fatter than they were. all you are doing is making them into body builders who
can beat me up and then lock up real criminals forever so the networking never matters because they don't get out, and then make them build stuff. >> they ought to be working -- >> they ought to be working. >> don't put them in play. do not. >> i think too that, you know, again this is no sprays to me. i think any real career criminal doesn't look at the law the way the average person does. they don't have a real fear of it. i am on this side and you are on that side and we are playing against each other. that's why a bank robber is not scared to shoot a cop. what are you insane? we are playing paintball here. it is you against us and i am not going down for you. he says when these guys go to jail they look at it like stumbled little career dip. lost some money in the market. we will do it right the second
time. >> i have to take a break after that long and pointless saw lil lil -- syllilaquey. >> e-mail us. do you have a video of your animal doing something? you know what i mean. fox news.com/red eye and click on submit a video. still to come, the half time report from andy levy. he should be in jail. >> tonight is sponsored by soy beans. it is cultivated for its traditional value. thanks, soy bean.
we are back. let's see if we having in wroing so far. for that we go back to andy levy. >> what? you asked how i was doing finally after 17 years. amazing. amazing. >> almost our sickth anniversary in a -- our 6th anniversary in a day or two. >> we are keeping good track of that. >> we are. i have some plans i hope. >> i probably won't be invited. i am doing well, thanks for asking. president obama's skeet shooting photo. he said later the white house released a photo that proves the leader of the free world has at some point in his life
touched a firearm. does it? >> i don't know. i need a photo of the photographer taking a picture. >> exactly. and greg compared liberals who claimed they had guns in the house to those who opposed gay marriage, but they say they have a lot of gay friends. isn't that you? >> i have no gay friends. >> in actuality you have a lot of gay friends. >> i have no gay friends. >> there goes book sales, andy. >> you never heard me make the argument. yet i have gay friends. >> you don't go around saying that, but you do have a lot of gay friends and you oppose gay mearnlg. >> these dorkazoids who start every gun session that says don't get me wrong, i grew up with guns in the home. >> i completely agree with you. >> andy i have used the
excuse, he is just a friend. that's several times. he is a very affection gnat friend of mine. -- affection gnat friend of mine. >> you have that tatood in an awkward place. charles, you said the picture doesn't look photo shopped to you. i agree. if you were going to photo shop it, you would make it a lot better than that, wouldn't you? >> exactly. it looks like it broke about 73 rules on how to shoot a firearm. >> i never fired a shotgun so i could be wrong. it looks to me like it is way too high on his shoulder. >> i was a marks man in the air force. i would be even more convinced they ate the skeet afterwards to prove to me. >> greg, you said the worst thing about this is the white white house said not to photo shop it. >> yes. >> actually what the white house said was quote, the photo may not be manipulated or used in political
materials. it is the standard notice they put out with every white house photo. >> i stand corrected. although it was a good point to make. >> super bowl. greg say it with me. >> colin. >> colin. >> kaepernick. >> how did i say it? >> i don't know. pumpernick you might have said. >> ingelbert. >> i know you are a huge 49er fan. >> i bleed silver and turquoise. >> exactly. >> wait if that is true you need to get that checked. that is not good. >> i think i have low iron in my blood. >> bill, greg asked if kaepernick was dating anyone. you assumed the fact he had a giant tortoise as a pet would be a deal breaker. no women want to date a quarterback who was in the
super bo el and is as ripped -- in the super bowl and ripped as crap. >> what woman wants to share her stuff with a giant tortoise? >> you would be surprised, sir. >> he can always get an imaginary girlfriend. >> i would prefer an imaginary tortoise. >> you would have to deal with it. >> an imaginary tortoise won't live to be 200. >> no, they can. they absolutely can. >> anne, really, you love ray lewis? >> i love him. that's why the ravens won because my friend the comedy writer, we all know has .ed out and done a sketch -- has pointed out and done a sketch how the girls are picking the team in wh it is their roommate's boyfriend college and that was the only reason i picked the ravens. >> greg, you said ray lewis should have retired a longtime ago. and you say this as a huge
football fan obviously. >> exactly. >> following his career closely. >> if you get my book, pro athletes and when they should retire it is the 13th printing, and you will find a couple of interesting facts in there. >> you are saying you pribted it out for the 13th time? >> yes. >> you said wouldn't an innocent man say i didn't do it and here is why? >> yes. >> meaning he is absolutely 100% not guilty? jay what? >> like saying he is absolutely 100% not guilty? >> no, like saying i didn't do it because i couldn't have because i was at the 7-eleven at the time or whatever the alibi is. >> but he was clearly there. >> it was a good point. >> it was a convincing argument to say -- i know my 7-eleven example wasn't great,
but if i was on the hotseat about potentially murdering somebody i would try a lot harder than saying god is on my side. god is on my side seems like a desperate defense mechanism. >> i thought an interesting thing is not only is he saying that because he is now successful he must not have had anything to do with the murders, but then he tells the family that if they iewnd how god works they would know that. they are horrible at religion. >> i love that. if these stupid, grieving people would get it through their heads, he is a disgusting person. and i love the concept that god wouldn't kill people. there are seven stories that completely contridict that. i am pretty sure there has been a lot of killing throughout the years. innocent or guilty he is a more ron. >> that's a bold statement. >> he is a great man. >> why and he a great man?
i am curious why you think that? >> because although i don't think he is guilty and he has denied it and there are a lot of people there and it doesn't make sense and that wasn't who the police were trying to get, by the way. they wanted him to testify against the other two so they didn't think he was guilty anyway. in any event he was hanging out with bad people and he had a bad life and he completely turned his life around and became this incredibly good person who gave so much to the man who died when he did not kill. >> that was called a settlement. >> apparently he was quite generous. he didn't fight it. he has all of these fabulous fundraisers and people were turning their lives around and he always thanks god. he has a few theological quibbles. he always kisses his god tatoo after a great play and he
always sites god as did colin -- >> kaepernick. >> i almost switched my allegiance. >> when he says he did not kill the power, you believe him? >> when he did not kill what? >> the power at the game. >> no, i think that is the lip-syncing. >> if people are going to use the god defense, then you should be able to get on the stand as a convicted murderer and say the devil made me do it. that shouldn't be any less fallible than the god defense. >> the devil did make them do it. and then we kill you. >> it is crazy. come on we are grown-ups here. >> if the devil made somebody do something you wouldn't kill them? oh, okay go on your way. >> it wasn't your fault the supreme evil being, you were under his influence. >> the devil made you do it, yes, definitely. >> this is news, right? this is like a news show,
right? >> this is theological. you don't see this on other shows. >> i am going to move on to another story. prison teaches people to be better criminals. charles, you took issue with this study and so do i. people with a prison record make more money i willly than people who -- illegally than people who haven't been incarcerated. that's what the study shows. so that could mean that they become better at being criminals. but couldn't it mean that once you have a prison record it is harder to find a legal job, so you end up getting another -- you end up continuing to do illegal things. of course you are going to make more money illegally than people who haven't been in prison. >> that's about 99% of it right there. you work at mcdonalds as a one-time felon and do some small time selling weed on the side. other than that -- listen, i
have known so many people and grown up with enough people they go to the joint and come out and think they are smarter, but they always go back. they always go back. >> it was tough for me to get out. >> were you there voluntarily. >> the guards kept saying stop hanging around the prison yard, man. >> they were 10 times cheaper. >> greg, what you mean is it was tough for you to leave. >> of course you knew that i managed the con -- the congigal van. >> the van was always rock. >> are you done? >> yes. coming up, how do you talk to an angel? how do you hold her close to where you are? just an odd text brett bier sent me. is richard the third's skeleton the biggest archaeological find in recent history? no your face is.
he wants to be iran's first astronaut in space. saying in the speech, quote, i am ready to be the first iranian to sacrifice for a country scientist. they tweeted a joke about the iranian nut bag leading to a story last week that iran launched a monkey into the cos mows. so only din joked wants to be the tiers to rein in space. wasn't he just there last week? some accused mccain of being racist to which he responded, lighten up, folks, can't everyone take a joke? he said lighten up. what a bigot. let's scaws -- let's discuss in -- >> lightning rooooouuuunnnndd. lightning round. >> charles, racist or not racist? >> not racist. i thought it was an appropriate comment. it wasn't even the same monkey. did you see the photos?
they say he went up and came back down, but not racist. >> it was a fake monkey, a fonkey. if iran had sent a sloth or other furry animal, don't you think mccain would have tweeted the same thing? >> you know, i am the last person to ask. couldn't we have a website? we can't compare arraign yens to monkeys ? >> it is not iranians it is ahmadinajad. it is specifically saying this guy is a jerk, a monkey, a bar boone, an -- a baboon and an ape. >> go to greg's racist page .org and i have a list of everything that is racist. >> i want not racist. it is a shorter list. >> joe, racism is your bread and butter and you are an expert here. >> thank you. mccain made a joke and got backlash and rightfully so. it is the most offensive joke
toward monkeys i have ever heard. >> he turned it around a. we were all wondering where was he going to go in being the canadian? he brought it down a little and then hit us over the head with the punch line. >> call it miss direction. >> you know what else i liked? he made us think. you made us think. that was the part that really made it. >> bill, oddly enough you applied to be the first human to enter a monkey. >> you don't need to apply for those things, greg. you just go to the bronx zoo during an off day. >> you can't say that. >> i don't know what i said. we have to take a break. when we come back, buy "joy of hate." for an autographed copy go to gutfeld.com.
frito-lay announced plans to roll out taco bell-flavored dorritos this spring. taco bell announced a cool ranch-flavored taco. got that? me neither. taco flavored doritos and dorritos flavored like taco bell. it must be confusing for a bachelor. >> when i heard the idea i wanted to say this -- not only
will i be buying these dorritos, but making nachos with taco bell meat and cheese on top. >> i can't wait to see the condition of your toilet. charles, is this a great business decision? >> the dorito taco bell thing was great. just hours ago they announced earnings and in china they were devastating. the chinese stopped eating their food. a smack of desperation there. >> they are turning down our fast-food? they are smarting than we are. anne, you eat nothing but taco bell, so you must be thrilled. >> i am saying wendy's your move. jay wendy's is going to do mcdonalds flavored burgers. i don't know what that means. bill, this is my theory about taco bell, they are a genius. they can make a new product every month out of the same two ingredients, meat and tortillas. and they come up with something new every day.
>> they mush it together and it is a slightly different shape. now it is this, and then we do it. aside from china, they are smarter than us. >> it is a taco and flatten it, hey, it is flat. and then hey, guys, watch this. roll it uptight. >> i also don't believe that the names of the products are real spanish words. i think they are like -- >> chime chimechonga. >> they are a delivery system for foods they don't like. >> so are vegetables. >> that's true. vegetables are pointless. chips are like man's improvement on vegetables. >> exactly. >> we will close things out with a post game wrap up. you can see clips of recent shows. nice purple sweater, gregment